What Worked?
The Fucking Dinosaurs (Duh!)
The dino’s are what we go to these movies to see. We care about the humans, but it’s all about seeing this larger than life animals tear into each other and humans. We want to be terrified and awed by these behemoths. Jurassic World is much more aware of this than both Jurassic Park 2 and 3, and it is better off for it. It gives us plenty of crazy dino action as well as more species to like, dislike, and shit our pants over. The Indominus Rex was a cunning, well-rounded dino villain who was a certified killing machine. It was great seeing her fuck shit up all over this island. Pratt’s raptors were also super awesome. It was uneasy to see them be trained because you expected them to go crazy at a moment's notice, but I think ultimately that helped build more suspense. We also get the classic T-Rex action that we’d expect to get from the Jurassic franchise, but the real award for scariest fucking dinosaur to ever live goes to the Mosasaurus. It’s a humongous underwater dinosaur that just straight up murders the hell out of whatever gets close enough to its enclosure for it to snatch up. It plays a pretty great role in the movie as well. Overall, these dinosaurs did not disappoint.
Pratt Fever
Chris Pratt is definitely building up his nerd portfolio. He’s doing great as Star Lord, but is great as this macho man dinosaur tamer. He is fun to watch, but also dramatically believable in situations of duress. He isn’t very douchy in this film either, which was a very nice surprise. Pratt makes you love him like he always does, but carries the film a bit more than he did in Guardians. He is shaping up to be the next big leading man, and this is just another notch on his impressive belt of hits.
Landscapes
We all love seeing these huge dinosaurs roam in a land large enough and lush enough for them. Just like the first movie, this one gives us some great, sweeping shots of dino’s running and grazing in their designated areas. It makes for really beautiful shots that inspire awe. It’s just one of the many pieces of the Jurassic puzzle that this movie fits perfectly.
What Didn’t Work?
How Big is the Indominus Rex?
The first time we get an obscured look at it, it seems to be comparable to the likes of Godzilla. Then, when we see it for the first time, it doesn’t look very much bigger than the T-Rex. Then, again when we see it slithering around in the forest it looks small. Later on, while it’s being shot at by a helicopter, it looks huge again. Also, when we have a few close-ups of its face getting close to our human characters, it looks giant yet again. Even in the final showdown, it alongside other dinos doesn’t look as menacing as they talked it up to being. I don’t mind it being around the T-Rex size, but I wish it would have looked a bit more consistent throughout the film.
Really? No Cell or Walkie Reception?
There are dinosaurs in this world, but it’s not like we’re living in the Jurassic Age! Why the hell is there so much fucking static on the walkies, and no goddamn reception on the cellphones!? It never explains this, but uses it several times in the movie. I would have liked it if perhaps they had the Indominus knock down a cell tower or something, but nothing of the sort was ever said or shown. I mean what the hell? With the amount of people coming in and out of this place how could they have this bad of reception? I get it, it’s a movie, but this is something that could have easily been added in and explained to make these moments even more tense rather than a little dumb.
Why The Fuck Would You Make This Creature?
I get it. You wanted to make a thrilling animal that would scare the patrons and create a spike in attendance, but why would you literally make an unstoppable killing machine. Who does that benefit whether you’re the park head, or the nefarious scientists doing some black market splicing? Like what the actual fuck? It just seemed a bit weird. There was a little nod when Vincent D’Onofrio told BD Wong to hide evidence of “what they’d been doing there.” But what exactly were they doing, and who would it benefit? It was just a bit confusing trying to find an adequate excuse to do such a dumb thing with so many smart people around.
Overall Assessment
This movie was a great summer movie. It was extremely fun, especially with an engaging audience. It made for a great time at the theater that has seemed to be a bit lacking this summer. I was very happy to return to this world and explore what else we can do with these dinos. Everyone in it acted well, and the action was exciting. There were some very dumb parts in this movie, but that’s to be expected when you’re watching a movie full of dinosaurs in a theme park. All of this being said, you should definitely go see this on the big screen and buy some popcorn. You’ll enjoy yourself.
Score: 7/10
As always, please let me know what you thought in the comments below. Have you seen it yet? Will you see it? Did you like the new dinos? Are you still in love with Pratt? Please be sure to share this, follow me on Twitter @HaneyCasey and check out my website if you aren’t already at www.slackernerds.com. Thank you all for reading!
